Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night

So ive been absent from my blog for awhile now. Im also aware that this is becoming a theme with this site for which i apologize. It's prolly a good thing though...there hasn't really been anything blog worthy happening in my life and most likely you would have just been reading mindless drivel that has nothing to do with your life. Isn't that kind of the point of a blog though either so you can keep updated on someone's life or so you can live vicariously through their escapades. Well, if you are at this site for the latter, you either have a very boring life or you have stumbled upon the wrong page. Anyway, now time for some of that mindless drivel. The semester is over (finally) and i can't tell you how glad i am. It was a stretching semester, and as much as i know that stretching is good for you and teaches you to grow, a break is nice. I just hope i learned from the stretching and i don't have to got through all that again. Break has been fun so far. I spent four days at Ambers house in Indiana which i will tell you more about in a moment. Then, i came home and saw the new house (which is nice but really wierd). While in IN, i was part of a slight sledding accident. I jammed my back up, and then from pain, i fell back in the sled and then we hit a tree (i have a nice bruise on my leg). So amber and lauren took good care of me until i was delivered to my parents :) Of course, then i went bowling and then spent all day today cooking, so i guess i don't take care of myself as well as they did. Tomorrow is Christmas. I don't have any gifts to give people as i'm terrible at waiting to give gifts. I get so excited to see how much they love it that i have to just give it to them as soon as i can. It gets difficult because i always feel bad when it comes to the occasion and i have nothing. o well...Remember what this season is about. The Savior who was born to destroy death. Live your life to emulate Him...in love, peace, and forgiveness.

Walkin' through life

Have you ever watched people walk? It's something I've started doing lately to pass the time as i traverse campus. It amazes me the little games that people make up while they walk so they can focus less on the walking part and engage their brains in other ways. Most of these "games" have to do with the cracks on the sidewalk. For some, the point of their creative genious is to make sure in your stride you step on every crack you see. This makes for some pretty interesting stride lengths, either very long or very short. Then there are the people, who out of concern for the well being of their mother avoid the cracks at all costs, at times this causes little jumps or hops that are a source of amusement. Of course there are the people who aren't altering their gait in any way as well. There are those who practically walk with their feet pointing out to their sides. It really can't be all that comfortable. I'm sure these observations will become only more enjoyable as the sidewalks get slippery.

Well that is enough development for that random thought. As for my life, it has been going very well. I just found out on Tuesday night (at midnight after refreshing my email a million times) that i made the Argentina team from school This means in August, I will be travelling to Buenos Aires to help churches and do various other things. This also means that before August, i must raise support to go. Some of you will be receiving letters or emails from me :) I also have to get my passport and all of that paper work done. In other news, one of the boys from my junior church was in a car accident last week. He is in the hospital and has a long road to recovery, but he is doing well. The last big news i can think of right now is that my parents have decided to move. I'm actually talking to my dad right now as hes is sitting in our new house. I still haven't seen pictures or anything, but its going to be an adventure.

Life in the Whirlwind

Sometimes i get so caught up in the day to day happenings in my life, that i forget the important things, like waiting. Waiting is a foreign concept to me. I don't like to wait for anything. For example, i have to be a last minute shopper for gift giving affairs, or i'll give the gift early, just because i want to. Christmas tends to be an interesting event in my life because i end up buying someone 3 or 4 different gifts, and still, i only have one for Christmas day. My time spent waiting for something is often spent doing something else, just to pass the time. That is why waiting on the Lord is so difficult for me. I feel like i have to be constantly doing, instead of just trusting. My brain runs in so many different channels, and i can change channels almost as fast as you can hit the button on the remote. Trying to devote my whole brain to something is like trying to get all of the channels on your tv to show the same show...doesn't happen often, unless there's been some overwhelming victory or tragedy. So thats what im working on now...waiting...

As for the rest of my life, it's going pretty well. Starting today, nylons are no longer required for dress code. This will save me approximately 4,372 dollars a year. Ok, so maybe not quite so much, but we are all very thankful for and happy with the change. Classes are going fairly well, i can't complain much. I am taking a music class and as of today, i've decided to drop out of school and start playing world renowned concerts on my new recorder. Although some have tried to discourage me (coughrachelcough) :) i think this is going to be my calling, if i can master the C-scale. On the work news front, Monday was great as no children were fatally wounded. At least none of the broken fingers of last week...well, its time to go...i'll try to update a little sooner next time

What lack of sleep does to you

Bible freeze tag.  Sounds like a simple enough game to play with kids...you pick one person to be it and kids have a chance to yell out a bible character so they don't get tagged.  Well, thats what we were going to play tonight for the kids at my church.  So they came out and i got them ready for the game.  I lined them up by birthday and counted them off so we would have two teams... i lined the teams up...then i realized we were playing tag...you don't need teams for tag, but i had just spent a good three minutes dividing them up ingeniously, so what was i to do?  I looked to my fellow workers for help, but they were too busy laughing at me for spliting the kids into worthless teams...we ended up playing a random relay game i made up off the top of my head, so the kids were none the wiser, but now i know...i need more sleep before next wednesday...and maybe someone else should run games.

Elation at insignificance

It's hard to believe that catching a glimpse of my own insignificance can put me in the state of elation that i currently find myself in. Tonight i was able to attend two meetings on campus that really showed me that while i can do something globaly for Christ, i can do nothing until i admit that im myself i am nothing. In myself, there is no strength that will accomplish great things, but when i yield myself to God, i can far surpass any dream or ambition i may have. God's put a lot on my heart, and i want to do it all. Why not? College is the only time in my life when im not going to be tied down, not tied down to a job, and not tied down to a family. When Paul wrote that he would have everyone to be single, this is what he was talking about. I want to do everything i can for God before i have other responsibilities. Even more than that, if i can't find time to serve and worship my Creator when my only true devotion ought to be to Him, when am i going to find time to devote to Him when other things in my life are demanding the majority of my attention. If i can't trust God now with something as insignificant as a school bill (albeit, it seems like a towering burden now) how will i trust him with the health, safety, and provision of my family. One thing i've learned about life at college, although not necessarily from a classroom setting, is always serve God in every way you can while you can because service to him now is preparation...preparation for that next place that God is going to call you to. If you take small steps toward it now, it is going to be far easier to reach than if you try to leap to it all at once. Please pray as i consider my summer. Camp is a definite possibility and hope. I also want to go on a missions trip. I want to go to NYC in March and/or Argentina in August. For all this to happen, God is going to have to open doors and provide in miraculous ways...and i know He can...

When love is lost...and found again

The other day a friend of mine challenged me to think of one verse that tells us of Christ's love. I had a hard time thinking of one on the spot. I finally mumbled out Romans 5:8, but i had been really discouraged the last few weeks. I was looking all around me a the things that were wrong in my life, and it had blurred my vision from the amazing, breath taking love of God. Her question really cleared my vision a bit and showed me how meaningless the things here are. I realized that my skewed vision of the boundless love that God showers on us everyday was preventing me from allowing Him to use me as a channel to show His love to other people. Looking back i saw that the love of God that i used to have as a theme in my life was missing. I was treating my friends badly and caring only about myself, so I'm sorry. Love is something that never fails, and i did. Thankfully, my loving Father is teaching me again what love is. It's something that always welcomes you back with open arms.

Uncomfortably genuine

The two lessons i learned the most about at camp this summer was getting out of my comfort zone and just living a real life in front of people. God stretched me this summer in so many ways. I won't tell my counseling story again, but He used so many people and circumstances to take me from a place of comfort to a place of discomfort. I realized that no one who did anything great for my God did it while they were comfortable. Every great work for God was a stretching experience for the person who did it. It was when they were taken to a place where they didn't know how or what to do, and they let God shine through them and accomplish His will. The other thing i learned was the importance of being genuine. No one likes the fake stuff, but so many times we live our lives as fake people, fake Christians. The whole thing really reduces down to a fear of man battling within us with the fear of God. It comes down to who we care more about. Do we care more what God thinks or what man thinks? I don't want to live my life as an unapproachable person who seems to have all their priorities perfectly aligned, while the turmoil inside is tearing me apart. Real people have problems, but we also have a real God to give us real help for our real problems.

School started again

So, im a week or two into the semester, and im already feeling some of the wear and tear. Stressed does not begin to describe the way i've been feeling, but then again its the only one i can think of. I can't pull out the exact cause of my stress, but its been driving me crazy for a few days. Hopefully soon i can figure out what exactly is wrong with me :) As far as school goes (other than my stress attack), its been going relatively well. I haven't had any classes that made me want to die yet, unless its by boredom and of course i have some of that. It's also amazing to be back at my wisconsin church...i love the people here so much. And God is working so mightily there that i can see it on the peoples faces everytime we go. Wow...so i started this feeling like i could stay up for another hour or so, but now im exhausted...no worries, i have a long break tomorrow, and i'll try to post then...goodnight :)

Recapping my summer

I'm home...and home is good, but im kinda wondering if im going to survive here for the next 3 weeks. Camp was amazing...and the friends i got there are great. i learned a ton about God, about me, about working with other ppl, and so many other things. Its definitely and experience that i will draw from for the rest of my life. Let me give you a quick run down of my summer. I got to camp at the end of may. I found i was living in a very small trailer with 10 other girls...it wasn't the most exciting part of the summer, but we all soon became great friends and had a ton of fun. Our first week of campers was a junior week (3rd to 6th grade). It was a really good first week for us to get acclamated to camp life. I missed most of the third week to go to Chicago area for Amber's wedding. We had so much fun, and of course how much fun can you have without a little bit of drama?? I returned to camp for the first teen week, and started to get back into the swing of things. By the end of the week, I had a pretty good handle on everything. I started the second teen week like any other...but thats about the only part of the week that was normal. During dinner, the camp program director (also my old youth director) walked up to me and started to tell me how camp staff had to be flexible. I just kept filling the water pitchers i was filling until the words "and this week you'll be conselling" came out of his mouth. I didn't know the procedures, jobs, or expectations of being a counselor. I immediately left and went to get ready for this crazy week. It turned out to be a good week. At least i survived. :-) well i gotta go for a little bit but i'll keep recapping soon

Long time comin'

So here it is.  My first post in a very long time.  I am well aware that I have not held up to one post a week.  It’s been an interesting summer.  Camp has been fun and long.  I miss friends and family but I’m learning a ton.  I went to ambers wedding…it was so great to be back all together again.  This weekend is the staff summer party.  Which means a lot of fun and games.  Ive already been eliminated from the basketball tournament.  Big surprise.  Anyway, im here and im alive and ive learned a lot this summer which I will discuss at some later point when I don’t have things to be doing…so prolly when I get home…O and my computer is getting fixed so when I get home it should be working and happy again!!!

A different week

This past week was definitely different and it stretched me more than any week so far.  Monday night I was serving my aisle…I served the first bowls of food, collected water pitchers and returned to the kitchen to fill them.  It was then that Mr. Gustafson, the program director and my old youth director, walked up to me.  His first words were something along the lines of “Here at camp we are pretty flexible”  I continued my work and nodded…then I heard something that stopped me dead in my tracks.  “and youre going to be a counselor this week”  I tried to breathe…I had no idea what to do as a counselor and that is the moment God began His week long stretching process on my life.  I had 8 campers…they were very diverse, and I had to find a way to bring unity to the cabin.  I can’t say that by the end of the week they were best friends, but they finally began to communicate.  None of them seemed to make life changing decisions but there were small changes by the end of the week.  I loved it and it was a great experience…of course im not going to say the stretching didn’t hurt at times, but God taught me a lot this week.

First Day on the job...

So waitressing was way easier than I expected.  Campers are here and they are hungry…and Nana’s food is just what they want.  Of course, this is a low week, and I only had 3 tables…with great counselors (including charles) who got their tables in line pretty fast.  Next week we’ll have way more…over double, so the thought of that is pretty daunting.  I almost wish I could tell you some funny story of something really dumb I did, but at the same time, I’m glad I can tell you that no such thing happened.  Waitressing was really a blast.  I could tell you about the dive bombing bugs that attacked Kim and I last night at the pool, and made us run for the hills, but that’s pretty much the whole story on that one too.  O and there is a group from West Coast here who are traveling around helping camps…and one of the guys used to go to Crown with me…talk about a small world.  Anyway, I gotta run and get ready for the evening service…love and miss you all!!

Bringing it into focus

So today was the first Saturday here at camp, and it was definitely nice to have a break around here.  Living with my roommates is anything but boring.  Last night I went to bed dreaming of sleeping in until 7:45, only to wake up at 6 am to hear about 5 people getting up to deep clean the trailer we are living in.  All I kept thinking when I looked at the clock was that I didn’t know that 6am on Saturday morning even existed.  Despite my desire to get out of bed and lovingly rebuke them with the back of my hand J , I resisted the urge and slept off and on until about 7:30.  Saturdays are the days that everyone comes a gives the camp an overhaul cleaning to get ready for the next week.  It was a pretty light day today since we’ve been cleaning all week and campers have not yet arrived to make messes J.  We were done before 10 when we all got together for a massive and amazing brunch.  Then we hung out for a bit before Charles and I went to town.  “Going to town” consists of driving about 45 minutes to Shreveport and enjoying the Walmart, target, and mall.  I even bought three heavy sweaters (of course, I bought them to wear at school) at Old Navy for three dollars a piece.  They were three dollars because it is summer in LA, and that means it’s about 95 degrees out right now.  Maybe they got the boxes meant for Anchorage….Anyway, now we’re back at camp just hanging around and I’m going to go swimming tonight.  Charles informed me that there was a dead scorpion in the pool last night…I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the wildlife here…

 

The other thing I wanted to tell you all about was how my focus has changed since I’ve gotten here…I got here and I was pretty frustrated about how everything wasn’t going the way I wanted it to.  I was being pretty selfish.  I even had a friend call me so I could just unload.  The next day, I sent them a text thanking them for listening and they returned a text telling me that they hoped I had a great summer with no regrets that would hopefully make a difference in someone else’s life.  That’s all it took was for someone to remind me that this is not all about me, but about what God can do through me in the life of campers….i’m trying to remember that all summer…

 

Keep praying J and my email address is coming on Monday!!!

My first week at camp

Well, this is the first time I have made it to a computer since arriving here at camp.  It is also the first day that the general email account has been set up.  I will be getting my own email address by Monday, at which time I will let you know what that email address is.  A few highlights from my experience so far…upon arriving to camp I found that I was going to be rooming in the “waitress trailer.”  The waitress trailer is where all the waitresses live…in one room.  That’s right…I live in the same room with nine girls besides myself.  At first the thought was not something I liked to entertain, but I have gotten used to it, and I really don’t mind living in such close quarters.  While I’m here I have a variety of jobs to do, including waitressing, cleaning (primarily laundry), and working in the craft shop.  It has been interesting.  One thing that happened that I can not even begin to say I enjoyed, occurred last night when one of the girls in the trailer called me over to kill our friendly neighborhood cockroach…it was HUGE!!! About 2 inches long… We don’t grow ‘em that big in PA (or WI for that matter).  This week has been pretty good though, and after the initial shock, I am thoroughly enjoying my time here.  I got to go swimming in the pool last night with all the tree frogs…that was interesting as well…anyway, I should prolly go now so someone else can use the one computer that all 55 of the summer staff use.  I will be emailing everyone as soon as I get my email address.  And just to let you know, I can’t read the comments u might leave on this post, but feel free to comment away, and I’ll read them when I’m at amber’s wedding in June!

This is a Test

This is a test of my new blogging system that i will be using for the remainder of the summer. At least while im at camp. Right now i should be packing. I say "should be" because instead, Charles and i are sitting on the couch enjoying our last few hours of internet access before we are cut off from the civilized world. Ok, so its not that bad, and i really am looking forward to camp. I've just got mixed emotions about leaving my friends here, and leaving the ability to talk to my friends from school at any time. But tomorrow morning we're jumping in the car and taking off on a whole new adventure. This should be interesting. We did manage to get directions today. And we still have a thousand things to get done before we leave...so i will write to you all again...but next time...i'll probably be in Louisiana.

Putting things in order

Well, here i am. I'm getting everything in order for camp. I leave in less than 36 hours, and i have so much more to do. I said goodbye to everyone tonight. That's always the hardest part. It's never fun to leave people, especially when you're leaving them and sailing off into uncharted waters. When entering the unfamiliar, i am one who clings desperately to the things around me when i should be clinging to God. This is going to be a different trip. My connections to home are being limited. Internet is basically cut off completely, except for email. Phone is limited to weekends. I can't hold on to home this time. I can't get frustrated and just call up my friends. The only One i can really turn to this time is God. I'm so thankful i have Him for this.

Anyway...lots going on in my head right now...im going to try to get some sleep and sort everything out in the morning.

Why did the weekend end??

This weekend was one of those weekends that i'll remember for a while. One reason is that I'm home so little now, so when i am we all try to get together and do something. Well, this weekend was it. Friday night, Charles and i went over to our friends apartment, ate, and just hung out for a while. Saturday, I got up and started getting ready, only to get a call that our church work day had been postponed for weather. So we stayed home and watched a movie. Later, we went out shopping, and then we were going to go to a college and career activity...i started getting suspicious around 11 when mom and Charles were whispering to each other in the kitchen. Then mom was calling him way too much and i knew something was up. My suspicions were confirmed when i arrived at my own surprise party. I felt bad because i had completely figured it out. o well... Then came sunday and after church, about twelve of us when out to the mall and bookstore. We spent the afternoon generally roaming around the mall. Then after church, we went to to a school to play baseball and headed over to trishas and dave's house for food and to watch a brian reagan video. It was a great day and a ton of fun...tonight, we're going out again, to see prince caspian...pretty excited about that...:-)

The time in between...

So, I did get to go to Walmart lol...printed some pictures, bought some frames and a photo album, and a few little necessities for camp, but i have so much more i need to get...ugh. Thankfully, this trip i didn't get caught behind the "die pictures, die" cropper lady. I think i would have cried...lol. My mom is still of work because of her little hospital trips, so we went out to lunch at panera. Sarah was working, so i thought we could go visit. There is one thing that has been consistently confusing me since i got home. Where's the warm? I mean i'm home for the summer, and i'm wearing a hoodie? How is that supposed to work. I guess i shouldn't be complaining much since this could mean that Louisiana is a little less sweltering, but I miss flip flop weather...not that i'm not wearing them...i mean, rachel and i wore them once it hit 32 in watertown, but my toes are still getting cold.

I leave for camp a week from today. It's crazy...I finally have plans to do things, and i'm leaving. Yep, thats right, i have plans for the next few days. So, i might finally have something to blog about instead of babbling on about meaningless drivel.

For my working girls

This post is for my girls that have to work all summer bored out of their minds, but have access to a computer, so they stop by occasionally to read what's going on in my extremely boring life. Well, guys you can keep reading all summer!! I only have access to email all summer while im at camp, but blogger has this amazing blog from email feature. So i'll be sure to keep you updated whenever i get a chance :-) As for my life in the past 24 hours. Its been boring. Besides church, the most exciting thing that has happened is that Charles and i went for ice cream last night. See, growing up, Charles and i had this sibling telepathy thing really perfected. Its been a few years since we were really that much in tune, but yesterday must have been one of our on days. All day i wanted...even craved icecream. Actually, i craved a reese's cup blizzard from Dairy Queen. As almost an unwritten rule, we go to DQ on sundays after service when everyone can go...we do not go on wednesdays...no one goes on wednesdays. It's a sacred place reserved for sundays only...ok so maybe i'm blowing it a little out of proportion, but the point is that we never go on wednesdays. So when charles told me he wanted to hit dq on the way home...i was shocked...yeah for sibling telepathy. And i got my blizzard :-D Ok guys, so that was my effort to make an ice cream stop as exciting for you as i could....and for tomorrow's post...i think i might go to walmart today!!!!

pics...

My brother and i...this is the pic we took for mothers day
My friend Ted and i at the teen activity...us college students gotta stick together. And as for his face...he was cold...
Mike, adrienne and i...ya i know we're dorks
Krissy and i at the infamous mother daughter banquet...she was sick on monday
Adrienne and i at the banquet...i'm looking like a fruit...o adrienne was sick on monday too.

quick update

I never got a call last night, so i stayed up until 4:30 before giving it up and going to bed. Dad just forgot :-\ Anyway, the still don't know why mom was bleeding, but now they're saying that she might have to have her gallbladder removed. She's feeling ok, already out and about on errands. Actually, dad looks more tired. They sat at the hospital for so long that the hospital gave them a fifty dollar gift certificate to the gift shop. Kinda like sorry you were in the ER and you couldve died cause we were so slow at helping you, but u can go get something from our extremely overpriced gift shop on us. Just made me laugh this morning when i got up...after i yelled at dad for making my lie awake all night worried, when he promised me a phone call. O, and im feeling much better too...

Rough week

This has been a pretty rough week...and its only 12:30 on Tuesday night...or Wednesday morning if you want to get technical, but i haven't even thought about sleep yet, so its still Tuesday. I guess to explain my week, i have to slightly recap starting on Saturday. Saturday was our annual mother daughter banquet. It was great, we had a wonderful time, and it was a lot of fun. We ate meatballs, penne pasta, salad, and various desserts. I wouldn't usually go over the menu, but it comes into play later. Sunday was an amazing day...church was great! It was so nice to be back home, and see everyone, and Pastor preached some pretty great messages about mothers and the proverbs 31 woman. After the morning service, Charles and i took a picture in front of the church for mom for mother's day. We haven't done a pic in about six years, so it was time. When we went to walmart, i was stuck behind a lady at the photos in seconds kiosk that cropped the death out of all of her pictures...she would take a decent picture and crop out ever semblence of the background. It was sad really...but anyway, she had around 50 pics...so i stood there patiently while she killed her pictures. Then put my order in while hers printed. Well, just before she as done printing, the machine ran completely out of picure paper...so they had to fix that. Needless to say, i should have just done one hour...it would have been faster. But don't worry, that really has nothing to do with why my week has been rough. Monday morning i got up when my mom had to go to her doctor's appointment for the allergic reaction she had to some medication. Around two o'clock, Charles called and asked how i was feeling...I kinda thought it an interesting question for him to call home from work about, but i told him i was feeling fine. He then informed me that over 80 ladies who had gone to our mother daughter banquet had gotten super sick. Remember that menu? well they think the meatballs were bad. Throughout the day, i felt a little queasy, but mom and i both kept everything down. Many of my friends, however, spent all day monday violently sick. So this morning, i was looking forward to sleeping in and generally doing nothing again...ok so i wasn't looking forward to it (ive been boredout of my mind) but it was my plan. I awoke to my phone ringing...it was my dad telling me to pray for mom, sh was going into the ER cause ppl at work thought she looked yellow. I kinda thought dad was blowing things out of proportion...i mean ppl don't just turn yellow. A couple hours later, Charles called and told me mom either was going through liver failure, or she had hepatitis...i immediately got a little more worried. Then Charles called back...mom had hepatitis. Now when i think hepatitis, i think deadly disease. Thankfully, it just means inflamed liver (which still isn't good, but better than fatal disease). Turns out it was most likely caused by a prescription shes on. She came home, and she was fine...but i was feeling pretty terrible...just some random chronic stomach pains that still haven't completely subsided, so i decided to lie down and go to sleep. My parents decided to go out to dinner...fine with me...i was sleeping and i didn't feel good. They came home...bringing me food...for which i was thankful, but most of it is still sitting in the fridge. A few hours went by, and i decided it was time to head to my room, to possibly go to sleep, but prolly just stay up listening to music and messing around with some pics i've recently taken. A few minutes later dad yelled that they were going back to the hospital...mom was bleeding...and they were going by ambulance...which scared me...so right now im sitting on my bed at almost 1am waiting for a phone call from the hospital...my stomach hurts and i kinda wanna sleep, but i can't...gotta admit im scared...

I'm home...for now

I got home last night....one week after getting out of school and driving to Rachel's grandparents house. Rachel's grandparent's house is where i left my camera. After kicking myself repeatedly in my mind, i picked up my phone, called my mom, and prayed that she was in a generous mood. I proposed that for my birthday (coming in less than three weeks) they could buy me a new digital camera because mine was old, only four megapixals, and stranded in chicago. Mom said yes, i was rejoicing. Our flight to NC was fun...especially when we got there and had no clue which airline we were supposed to check in with. We got in line with our extremely heavy suitcases and our carry-ons, which were probably heavier than our suitcases. We felt like pack mules...Finally, we made our way to the kiosk thing and i put in my card...up popped my name and destination...rachel and i put down our bags and did a celebratory dance. I then realized all the annoyed people behind us that just wanted to check into their flights and i hurried through check in. I checked my luggage and waited for rachel, who also started to check her luggage. First suitcase up,the guy looked at her and said,"half pound over," we held our breath, waiting to see what happened next, but he just smiled, attached the ticket, and threw it on the conveyor belt...we exhaled. Second bag up, three pounds over...once again holding our breaths, and once again the guy smiled and we exhaled. The flights went well, and i didn't have to sit next to anyone scary...actually, i didn't have to sit next to anyone at all, which was great. I would show you pictures of all of this...if i had a camera at the time. (i am including other pics that i want to show you that were taken before the end of the semester and after my last post)

NC was fun...we went to justin's baseball game, ate japanese, ate cookout (drive-thru burger place-we took this to the school for justin, alli, and corey), went to church, tried to make a bonfire with wet wood and entirely too much gasoline, and hung out at rachel's watching movies and eating ice cream....we also hit a coffee shop, the orthodontist, and walmart...where i got a new camera. Then, i failed at taking pics in my remaining time...well...i took some with rachel in the car but they didn't really turn out well.

Saturday, i headed to crown...it was crown. i saw ppl, and remembered why i transferred. Andy's dad paid us twenty bucks for cheering for andy...who graduated with his masters. go andy! Lauren and i ran all over doing stuff...we went downtown, held snakes, drove to maryville...sat alone at our table at Cali's...got to see amber for 2.7 seconds at chik fil a and took fun pics...which i will show u. Then tuesday morning, charles and i jumped in the car and headed home....we got here, went out with mom and dad...i came back chatted with some ppl online and then crashed into bed around 8 and slept all night...I'm here for 2 1/2 weeks and then off to camp...so i'll post when i can, but i don't know how often that will be.

I'm hap...sa...py...d

Ok, im almost done...days away actually, and super excited and happy about going home and to see all my friends, but at the same time, i'm really struggling with leaving here. I don't want to leave everyone. I know this is the same thing i posted last time, but it's true. Anyway, finals have been going well. Ive been pretty happy with it. ok, so i really don't have much to say, but rachel wanted me to blog, so im just adding pics :-)

Almost done...

School is almost over. I can’t believe I have been here for nine months. Life is flying by faster than I can hold on sometimes, but the times I do grab hold are amazing. I can’t believe how much I have been blessed here this year. The friends I’ve found along the way are absolutely amazing. I can see God’s hand moving in my life this semester to bring the people into my life that He did. When I got here, I was terrified. I knew no one, but through a series of seemingly coincidental events, I have come to make some of my best friends here. Good thing I ascribe to the “you can have more than one best friend” philosophy. Otherwise I would be in some trouble. So yep, here is another “friend” post and if you’ve been reading my blog for any amount of time you know I can get sappy….but I won’t J I just wanted to say that all of them are great and crazy, which makes them a ton of fun…im praying for all of you in the last few weeks of school…and as for all you other awesome friends out there, I’m planning on seeing most of you within the next few weeks!! Here are some pics...sadly not everyone went that night...

Procrastination = Exhaustion

It's 2:05am...and i'm taking a break. I say a break because i still have a lot to do tonight...or this morning or whatever i'm currently surviving. I say surviving because that is precisely what i'm doing. I'm trying to keep my head above the waters of projects, papers, and those annoying little assignments that you never seem to finish during the semester. I am at the point where staring at my computer screen just isn't making much sense. It seems like words are pluralizing themselves or putting themselves in past tense, even when i don't ask them to. I'll write a sentence, and it looks like an eight year old was typing blindfolded after spinning in a circle ten times. Let me describe my current surroundings to you, because that is just what i need, to spend some time in some descriptive writing to wake my brain up...or maybe i just need more coffee. I am sitting in the dorm hallway staring at doors which are gateways to rooms full of slumbering people who have a much better work ethich than i do. The lights in the hallway are bright...which is nice because for the longest time, hiedi lost the little tool thing to turn the lights on and off, so they were stuck in some kind of half on, half off purgatory. To my left are two other girls working on homework...one struggling throught the same paper i am breaking from, and the other studying for something that has to do with nursing. Directly beside me is my notebook, opened to the syllabus for National Government where i find all of my requirements for aforementioned paper. To my right, i have spread out my belonging. I have a bag of pretzels that i have to snack on while i write. Next to that is my empty coffee cup, which i'm wishing wasn't empty. My coffee maker, which i moved out to the hallway so that my coffee cup could remain filled tonight is sitting vancant because i don't have the motivation to get up an make another cup. And finally, there sits my crumpled robe in a pitiful pile on the floor. I got it out for a time of reminisencing about the good old days when i could be dressed in layers, but if i wasn't in a skirt, i had to wear that beautiful robe i've had forever. O, wow, so both of the girls who were studying have gotten up and dispersed to various locations. The bathroom is always a popular destination this late at night because people drink caffeinne in high doses to maintian some degree of alertness. Well, i've just taken a 15 min break from my paper, and i think i'm awake...ok not really...not at all, but i gotta get back to the paper. I hope you are all sleeping soundly in your comfy beds and dreaming about fluffy sheep named Bob and Frank that drive fast cars :-)

Not what i should be...

Well, just to begin, i am not currently doing what i should be. What is that you ask? Well, its probably that powerpoint for that huge presentation i have on monday. I have this twenty minute presentation to give on the history and discrimination of Native Americans, and as of right now, its looking like a good five minutes if throw in an activity. O well, i have a red bull that i've been saving for just such an occasion, and i plan on using it in about an hour. I just can't seem to get into this project. Maybe it's all the distractions i've been encountering lately.

Yesterday was just one of those days where everything goes wrong. Little things...like having my ride home fall through...like having to work in an unfamiliar environment, not knowing where anything is, and seemingly assuring parents that i have no competence whatsoever to watch their children...then staying at work an extra half hour trying to figure out how to close the room in which i had never previously worked. Then, after finally being able to return to my dorm room, imagine my suprise when i got on a national news site, only to read that the airline on which i was going to fly to TN decided to cease operations immediately, so much for that great fifty dollar travel voucher they sent me.

Then i had a discussion with a good friend of mine of how fake Christians are, and the sad fact is, as a whole, Christians can't dispute the fact. Where have all the genuine Christians who want to live their lives to impact others gone? When did we fall into this rut of wanting to look like we deserve God's mercy? Heads up people...we don't deserve it. Don't you remember? Christ ate with the publicans and sinners, not the Pharisees who seemed to have it all put together. If God was coming for the perfect, He wouldn't have come at all...we all fail. But God loved us, and when we were horrible wretched sinners, He reached down and gave us His Son. So, why can't we reach out to that neighbor who has an old box from a 12-pack in his trash every week. Why can't we share the gospel with that girl who is expecting a little girl in a few months that she is going to be raising alone? Never forget who you were before Christ came into your life. You're a sinner. You're responible for the nails that were pounded into Christ's wrists. But what a blessing that He did it as a free gift for us. How amazing that He loved a wretched sinner so much that He died for them...for me...for you? And yet we can't even bear looking at the person next door. Since when is it our choice who to share God's love with? Guess im not what i should be...

Hives aren't just for bees...

So yesterday started out great. I woke up on time, understood what my probs and stats class was all about, got a mocha in chapel because of peter and ryan's last minute run to speedway, and didn't really feel like killing myself after my other four classes. I got to work, not only on time but a with a few minutes to spare, and there i found out i only had two kids. Then i got to combine with the class that i used to work in, and i miss. I was pretty happy about all of it. At around 3:30, i brought the kids in for snack. I had the fourteen of them wash their hands and sit down at the table. The only problem was i had gotten a misquito bite on my chin while we were outside...but o well. It was probably the easiest snack transition i have ever had. I passed out snack, peanut butter and crackers or pretzels, and gave each kid a glass of water. Thats when i noticed that my arms were a little itchy, but i didn't really pay attention. Then, i took off my hoodie....my arms were bright red and splotchy. I was breaking out in something and it scared the fire outta me. So, i called down one of the ladies i work with, and she took one look at me and told me i was breaking out in hives, and i needed to go to the health center immediately. She went to get a girl to come in my room, so i could leave. I started getting a little shaky, prolly just because of the shock of breaking out in hives and my mind not really understanding what was going on. I left for the healthcenter and the nurse told me i had an allergic reaction to something. Well...duh. I got benadryl and went back to work...four hours later i broke out again...and this morning...and just now after dinner.... And here are some pics...here's my arm after two benadryl when i was at work yesterday...

and here's my arm right now...

My plans for the rest of my life...

College. Pre-registration packets were distributed today, and i was once again assured that i am going to be here for the rest of my natural life. I guess it makes sense because i have absolutely no idea what i'm planning on doing for rest of my life if i actually did graduate. So for now, my plans include continuing in school forever, maybe getting an apartment in Watertown, and living out my days in the cold and frozen forsaken land that is wisconsin. To make matters slightly more frustrating, no classes are fitting because i'm a transfer student. O well....time for homework...the last thing i need is to fail and have to take classes over...

Jesus loves me...

So we sang a pretty profound song in chapel yesterday. It's a song i sing every Sunday, yet there are times it just hits me what its really saying. It's Jesus Loves Me. How simple is the truth that He does, and how amazing. Ok, so right now im going to rewrite the song...it prolly won't be all that great, but its my blog and i can do whatever i want :-)

Jesus loves me despite my sin
When i let the world come in
He who died to set me free
Has to watch me live for me

Jesus loves me i know its true
He shows it every day anew
Yet i live life my own way
Never pausing just to pray.

Jesus loves me when i fall
And He watches over all
He picks me up and heals my pain
Then lets me down to try again

Jesus loves me and i pray
For desire to serve Him every day
Help me to my Lord be true
Serving Him in all i do.

Quick RUN!!! this is gonna be a serious post!!

**Disclaimer: im deep in thought and indescribably thankful, although i don't really understand.

Last night at church, i got hit hard with something that i've always seen but never really appreciated before. Why is it in a time when so many Christians get out of the will of God, God has allowed me to stay protected from the dangers and ravages of sin. Why, when so many people have wandered away, has He kept me right with Him? Why, when there were times that i didn't care and i wanted to do my own thing, did He not let me stray? Why, when some Christians have been so much stronger than i, has He allowed them to fall, and i haven't? Why have some parents tried and battled to keep their kids on the right path only to see them follow a different path, and my parents have never really battled, and yet i'm serving God. It really doesn't seem fair. But the thing about grace is it makes life not fair.

Then, it all makes me a little nervous. If some of the strongest Christians i know have fallen, why can't i fall? I can, and that scares me. I can start to wander down a path that leads me to some serious hurt. One incident and i can be falling down a mountain of sin, getting battered and bruised the whole way down. I don't understand why God has protected me this far. I don't understand why the same people who kept me accountable growing up and through my first few years of college are the ones now that i'm praying for a turn around in their lives. Just to let you all know, when you turn from God, it does hurt. It hurts God. It breaks His heart, but He's not going to strong arm you into loving him because then thats not really love at all. It hurts me. It kills me to see friends going down the wrong path, to know they know the right way, and they don't even care. It hurts you. You might not see it now, and you probably don't care, but someday, hopefully before whatever you're doing kills you, you're gong to turn around and see the wreck you've made of your life and you're going to wish you could have started over. I have so many people i'm writing this for...most of whom will never read it. And if you are reading this and you're in my place, be careful, don't let Satan pull you down...

Thomas, you'll never read this but this was for u
Ok, serious post over...spring break continues to be amazing!!!!

Spring Bliss

I've been home for a few days, and i have yet to post about my adventures, so here it goes. I finally got home sunday. And i stress finally... my flight got cancelled on friday and delayed several hours on saturday. I finally made it into a snowy columbus on saturday night on what my dad informed me was one of only 10% of flights that they even let land in columbus...so that made me feel pretty special. Then we had to stay another night in Columbus because the roads were in pretty sad shape. So early sunday morning we pulled out and started on our way home. We made it into Erie around 2pm and headed out to lunch for my dad's birthday, now a day late because of the delays caused by Columbus's terrible weather. I finally got to go to good old wcbc for church that night, and i was super excited to see every one. We had an awesome activity, and charles went home and got super sick. Then monday night, with charles finally feeling better, we headed out to our church basketball game...and they won!!! Tuesday (today), i got up and said goodbye to my bro :-( and then went and ordered my bridesmaid's dress for amber's wedding :-) Finally i ended the day today (or at least the eventful part) by going to a basketball game and burger king with mark and one of his friends. so there's my spring break in a nutshell...its been fun...

Give me a (spring) break!

What kind of teacher schedules a test on the first day of spring break?? That is the question i am asking myself right now. Tomorrow, after classes, i leave for spring break, but first, two of my teachers have decided its the perfect day to have a test. So, i should be studying, but am i? Of course not, im going home for spring break tomorrow. Probability and statistics and National government are the farthest things from my mind. Instead, i have to think about packing and white glove, and going to the mall on saturday, and all those other fun things i get to do. I'm spending more time making plans than learning the political process. I am packing more than figuring out the equations of probability. And, i am sitting here blogging instead of filling out study guides.

Anyway, i'm going home tomorrow!!!!! I seriously can't wait, but unfortunately i have to go study....ugh...this is cruel and unusual

No one warned me about growing up...

With Spring break just six and a half days away, i am trying desperately to regain the health that i am trying to recall once enjoying. Other than all of that, life is good. Actually life is great. I actually feel like i am starting to live (except for feeling like death, but thats another story). I don't really do much; i just feel more alive this year than any year i can remember in the past. I feel like i am doing something with my life, despite the fact that it appears that i am accomplishing nothing when it comes to school work. It's taken me this long to actually start feeling all grown up. I've gone through my whole life always thinking the "grown ups" were a few years ahead of me. Suddenly, i woke up and i was there. It's a scary thought being responsible for your own life. Now, your debts are yours, your responsibilities are yours, and if you mess up, it's not someone else's fault for not being there. You're supposed to be an adult. You're supposed to be able to handle this. There are still times i don't WANT to handle it. I want to have the easy pass off of...well they said. That's when people expect you to have evaluated the decision and make the right one regardless of what you've been told, and let me tell you that is a scary proposition. How in the world to people expect you to know so much by 21. Let me once again ask...why are all the important decisions you have to make supposed to be made during the years when you are the least sure of yourself?? And what happens if you mess up. Can you go back and fix it. The scariest part is, sometimes you can't. Sometimes the stupidity you had as a 21 year old is with you your entire life, and sometimes you have to go a few years out of your way to fix it.

Ok, so i have no idea where that post came from...but im going to go get ready for bed and take some meds...and drift off into a medication induced sleep, which just brings more strange dreams...YAY!

Life is a highway...kinda

Midterms...a time to show all the hard work, or lack thereof, that you have put into a particular subject. Midterms for me have never been very hard. A little stressful maybe because i am trying with fervency to disguise the fact that i have spent half of a semester trying to just get by. This semester, i'm trying to use a multitude of credit hours and work to excuse a terrible habit that i have of not putting forth any more effort than i need to get by. Now, this wouldn't be bad thing if it weren't for the fact of all the time and energy that i'm wasting just to learn a minimal amount. It seems my nature tends to follow the path of least resistance (a.k.a. procrastination). That's not to say that i'm not busy this semester (believe me i am), it just shows that you can be busy and accomplish absolutely nothing. This would be the part of the entry where i would vow that that is all behind me, and from now on i vow to keep up, even excel, in all of my classes, but i just can't bring myself to promise myself and you something that we both know isn't really going to happen. Anyway, back to the subject of midterms...they're tricky here. See, they don't tell you when midterms are coming up. They just spring it on you. That means for students like me there is no warning to get out of neutral and put it into drive, and sometimes that means you just aren't going fast enough to make it over that gargantuan speed bump that someone apparently just threw in the middle of the road. Anyway, enough of this terrible metaphor of "life is a journey." I'm going to go to work and hope i can accomplish something afterward, so i can eventually fall asleep tonight and have some more seriously odd dreams like i've been having lately...which i will have to tell you all about another time :-)

It ended well :-)

These past few weeks have totally rotted. I mean to the point that i wanted to crawl into bed and never come out. Between the school losing my time card, resulting in a serious lack of monetary funds, my grandmother's health deteriorating, being sick myself, and all those little things that happen to go wrong when you're having that type of few weeks, i didn't think i would ever see the light. There were a few highlights during those dark days. I got a supplementary grant for school and God worked a little in the life of a friend of mine. God gave me those "pity bursts" between the clouds. I am so glad He did. Through the whole thing, i kept thinking, either God is about to do something amazing, and Satan is trying to get me to quit just before it, or God is keeping me from something that wouldn't be good for me. There's a verse that says "weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." Well, i wasn't really weeping, but Thursday was definitely my morning. I went to my mailbox, and there was my check...that made me pretty happy now that i can buy little things that i need. Then I decided to check my mail again because im obsessed with mail like that, and there was an award letter for a scholarship i had all but given up on. I went back to my room rejoicing and decided i was going to get my spring break arrangements ready. God gave me a one way plane ticket home for 45 dollars and allowed me to have a ride back to school with my youth group. God is so amazing :-D

Strolling down memory lane...

After my stint in solitary confinement yesterday, i am thankful to be back among the living (even if i don't feel completely alive yet). I have become a very social being, and being back among people has been thoroughly enjoyable. Anyway, enough of my expressing my thankfulness about being back among the civilized populous, the real reason i decided to blog today was to express my thankfulness for my friend Lauren...shes amazing!!! Here we are all at different colleges and she sends me something that reminds me of the good old days when we were all together and sitting at the table at our favorite mcalisters surfing the web and just being friends. Of course, mcalisters holds many memories of emotional breakdowns, joyful celebrations, almost missing curfews, and errr...sickness. I honestly can summarize most of my Crown days with the word mcalisters (affectionately called Cali's), and today Lauren brought back all those memories by sending an amazing valentines package with a shirt from our beloved cali's. Thanks Lauren! I love it!

My stay at hotel sickly

I'm lying here in the Student Health center, which may just be the most boring building on campus trying to recooperate because once again my immune system isn't behaving itself and doing its job. Yep, I'm sick...again...this is the second "cold" or whatever this semester. So anyway i though i would enlighten you all as to what the Student Health center is like. I'm lying here on my bed in what is obviously the "girl's side" of the health center. I am covered in a pink blanket in a room with pink curtains and pink flowers on the dresser. Before the sudafed started wearing off it reminded me of how my grandma's house smelled, but that started wearing off about an hour ago, and i can't smell anything now, but i don't feel super congested so im being me and refraining from taking anymore medicine if at all possible. They've tried to make it look as roomy as possible with a desk and a dresser, and once again i think my grandma had these in her old house, but it makes my slightly concerned for those who have to stay here longer than a day (which is all i'm staying...i will be back in my own room tonight). The only reason i think im still here is my temperature is a little abnormally low. Rather than the normal healthy 98.6, mine started out as a 95.1 this morning and it's now up to 96.4. Hopefully soon, i'll get to go back and sleep in my own bed with all my blankets and sip hot tea or cocoa or something...

Let it snow, let it snow, let it stop

I'm definitely ready for the snow to stop falling here in Wisconsin. The internet tells me we got about 16 inches yesterday, but i'm thinking it was more along the lines of 87 inches. It snowed all day. They cancelled classes which is completely unheard of here. So, being the industrial person that i am (why are u laughing??), i went to work. It amazes me that when an entire town is completely shutdown, people still bring their kids to daycare. I tried hard not to think about all my friends back at the dorm relaxing and playing computer games...After working for several hours, (daycare is the most amazing job because you can watch a movie with the kids and you get paid for it), i returned to the dorm to learn, not only had classes been cancelled but the on-campus church service was cancelled. That meant we had a dorm meeting. That meant i wanted nothing more than to sleep. After feeling terrible all week, i was starting to feel some semblance of health return, so when rachel mentioned going to play in the snow, i was all for it. We went out and enjoyed about an hour of snowy fun of jumping in snow drifts and snowball fights. Then this morning i had to get up, and i realized that semblance of health had completely disappeared and i felt like...errr...well i felt like i had gotten hit by a semi in the face.

On a completely unrelated note, i almost got mugged on saturday. See we are strongly advised against walking downtown after dark...advised by way of possible demerits, but on Saturday night four of us decided to grab some ice cream downtown. Knowing the rule about walking downtown, we all jumped in katie's car and drove to the ice cream place. We enjoyed our ice cream, and decided we had better start heading out (they were locking up the place). Once we got outside, Rachel and i saw the pole, that our good friend Alex had run his car into about 2 and a half weeks ago, was right next door. So we walked to the pole, had a good laugh, and turned to walk back when Korinne suggested we just walk a little further to the bridge. No one really seemed to have a problem with the idea, except for rachel and i, and that was only because we were cold. On the way to the bridge, we experienced several honks and whistles from the cars driving by, and we started getting a little creeped out. Then we saw three guys walking up the street. I begged out loud for them to be guys we knew, but they weren't and they started yelling at us from across the street. As they yelled, we began to walk faster, but not fast enough, and suddenly we heard one of them run across the street straight at us. He was doing it to freak us out, and he definitely accomplished that...so yeah, lesson learned...i'm not every walking downtown again...Below are pics from the night of our "near-mugging" :-D

Yeah there's a giant chicken

It's a ride

Have you ever been on a roller coaster? Some go so fast that you don't have time to analyze each individual part. You just know that the hills, dips, loops, and corkscrews make the ride what it is. Sometimes, you're on top of the world and sometimes your heart sinks into the pit of your stomach, but once you get on you're powerless to stop them from coming. That pretty much describes my semester so far. Its had its ups and downs, but overall i think i'll come out of it enjoying the ride.

Last weekend, aaron, alex, rachel, and i headed for Winnebago, IL. A weekend away, an escape from the routine and hecticness (ok so thats prolly not a word) of my everyday schedule sounded absolutely amazing, and it was. We went to a hockey game, the first hockey game i have ever been to in my life. Good thing i sat next to aaron who helped me out by explaining things i didn't understand. After the game, we headed back to Kevin and Heather's house (ppl who go to our church). We stayed up talking pretty late, until the guys had to leave to get some sleep. We had so much fun!

Time in my life has been pretty scarce. I'm still working every weekday at the daycare and i got an email about possibly having another job, which would only be a few hours a week, but would be amazing. Classes are....well they are definitely classes and i've been busy.

On another note...please pray for mark and his family. His little niece, Rylee, passed away this past Wednesday. She was 6 months old.

Here are some pics from my weekend away:Here's the whole group...kevin, alex, rachel, me and aaron And aaron and i Rachel and i were...errr...nevermind Alex and rachel Alex,rachel, and i Road Trip!! Alex playing polly pocket with Logan Here's all of us playing... Rachel and i...one of many pics :-p

Back in the midst of it...

I thought about how when i got home i would update, but then there was the famine of no internet that i experienced, and then i thought sometime when i got back i would update, but then we started classes about 15hrs after i got back. Then, i was thinking that i could update on a sunday when i'm at a house with internet access, but once again, i encountered a problem, none of the houses we went to had internet, so here i am finally updating in the twenty minutes i have before i run off to do something else. The semester is going well, i got a job at daycare last week, so ive been working, going to class, and trying to socialize like mad. I have no time in my life for anything, well except for the things already listed. Even for church, i've been trying to do homework on the way, or eating, if its a wednesday. Sorry that i couldn't update longer...im adding pictures of my church group :-)