Saturday, May 23, 2009

Living my todays

School has ended. Summer has begun. At least i think summer has begun. I haven't had the opportunity to venture outside much to verify this fact, but from the time i have been, it seems to be true. Im home at least. And i turn 23 tomorrow. That fact alone has thrown my brain into overdrive lately. 23. Ya, i know its not really all that old, but when i look out over the future, its a little unnerving. What am i going to do? Am i EVER going to graduate :) ? Where am i going to be? US or overseas? Am i going to get married? if so, who? They are all questions i have asked before, and maybe its the fact that i'm still asking coupled with the fact that many of my friends are marrying and starting families, compounded by the fact that I'm 23, that is making these questions ring even louder in my ears. Ok, actually the real cause of this incessant thinking (also known as worrying) is my lack of trust and contentment in the One who knows all the answers to these questions, so that has been my aim lately, learning more and more everyday to trust Him, who has all the answers. It amazes me how i can give all of these questions, these worries that torment my poor finite mind, to God, only to turn around and snatch the horrible little things back from Him. So for now, for today, I'm going to trust, and tomorrow, i'll have to make that decision all over again, maybe even tonight. I'm not going to wish away my todays waiting for that elusive someday because someday will come soon enough disguised as a today.

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