Happy Reformation Day!!!

Fall break is over :'( but that just means we are closer to christmas!!! I had a blast in Indiana. A big thanks to my friend Amber and her family for the GREAT hospitality. The only problem was amber and i went a whole weekend and didn't take one picture. We had a ton of fun...at least i did. Charles went home, and everytime he called me i wanted to see everyone, but i am so glad i got to go hang out with my good friend, and i now get to add Indiana and michigan to the states i have been in.

This past Sunday, Amber's pastor said that truth is the affirmation of reality. I never really thought of it like that. Truth isn't the statement of fact...fact can be changed in time...reality is absolute. Reality is reality whether we accept it or not. Therefore truth is truth whether we accept it or not. Ok...way too deep.

Keep the Ground!!!

Sometimes life just doesn't make sense, and it seems like everything is going wrong. It seems like everyone else gets everything they want and need. Lately, I've just been looking around wallowing in self-pity for what i am lacking. That was the problem, i was looking around instead of up...at man instead of at God. Why is it that we as Christians write stuff like this all the time? Why is it alway true? Why do we "learn our lesson," and then forget? In a war, soldiers don't take ground and then wander around waiting for it to be taken away so they can fight for it again. Why do we insist on taking ground from under the very nose of Satan just to give it back to him so we can fight for it all over again. We need to take ground and keep it!

On a less serious note, or maybe i guess just a different one. I was talking to a girl in my dorm this year, her and i used to be good friends...really good friends. This year we barely talk. Last year we had some issues, she got a boyfriend, and we just grew up and grew apart (i know...sounds cliche). I realized no matter what happens or what doesn't happen, i will never regret the fact that we were friends. I learned lessons and made memories that made me the person i am. It's that way with all of my friends past and present. NO matter what goes on between us i don't regret the time God gave me with each of them...so here's to alison, jessica, carmen, hannah, troy, chris, tammy, ashley, thomas, melanie, samantha, pam, kierra, kristin, and all those other people that helped make me the person i am, but are no longer really a part of my life. Most of them will probably never read this and if they do then they stumbled upon it...

Sadie Hawkins!!

Sadie Hawkins...two words that strike fear into the hearts of girls and guys alike. The girls are freaking out about being rejected by that one guy that they have dreamed of taking since the last sadie when they chickened out, and the guys are trembling in fear cause they know that one girl is going to ask them, even though she chickened out last year. Sadie Hawkins is an activity that is safe only for those couples already in a dating relationship...the ones that go as friends normally just raise questions later. So when I saw sadie on the calendar, my first thought was "do i even want to go." I dealt with the question until the morning of when i decided i would go with my friends. I didn't want to put any guy through the agony of hearing the words "will ya go to sadie with me?" come from my mouth. Well, it was a fun night, and i got to see some pretty funny stuff. Including tomlinson doing push-ups (honestly, i wouldn't have ever thought he could have done it...this is my slightly balding OT and Bible Doc. teacher, but he showed those college guys up.), two of the guys dancing around to prove they were the biggest hicks here (trust me, there was competition), and college students beating each other silly with fun noodles. We went to the shooting range, and i watched my good friend amber shoot a gun for the first time in her life...she even hit the hill all three times!! I don't want to brag or anything, but i did hit my intended target 3 out of the 4 shots. In the end, it was worth getting sick and feeling like death the next day. Question: Does anyone out there actually like moonpies and RC cola??

Quick update on my life

So this has been an interesting week to say the least. I am sitting at mcalisters right now because...i am so excited about this...Pastor Sexton cancelled classes today. Yep, no classes...no special meeting...no nothing...except i have to work in like an hour...ugh. This week was Mission Conference, and I guess he just knew how incredibly exhausted we all are. Like I said, this week was Mission Conference, and it was really good. The main speaker was a pastor from Austrailia, and I just love accents (except for super hick southern). One of my good friends got saved yesterday, and i am just really excited. I even got to work extra hours on tues and wed. so i have more money to go to Indiana with....I AM GOING TO INDIANA IN A WEEK!!!! I am a little excited and a little spastic. I've never been to Indiana.

This week wasn't all happy though. On Sunday night, one of my best friends got her car stolen...yep right off the back lot on campus. Why do people do such retarded things??? I am praying that we will find it. She is taking this way better than i ever thought anyone could. I just want to find out who did this and beat them till they are lacking the ability to drive anything. Just pray!!! That's about all we can do right now unless i find someone willing to go to the search the alleys of knoxville with me...any takers??

Oh and i can't find my phone right now...i think i might have left it in my friends dorm, but i don't know...my phone is my lifeline. I can't talk to ANYONE without it. I am a little nervous, but it will turn up.

One more thing, my dad is in Buffalo with the Red Cross...I guess they got beaucoup snow (i don't know cause i don't have any source of news) Just pray he stays safe...he is the first shift shelter supervisor...he's pretty excited. My dad just likes helping people, and its awesome. Well i know this has been a pretty spastic blog, but i am trying to keep you all updated.

Watch what you say

So my life has gone from confusing to utterly brain numbingly crazy. I don't know what to think. I assumed some stuff yesterday and i wrote a hurtful blog that could have ruined a friendship if that person wasn't as understanding as they are. There is a saying about when you assume things but since i don't allow vulgarity in my blog or life, i can't share it with you. I shouldn't have rushed into write such brash things. It just shows you that you should think about the words before you speak...wow...my parents were right about something. Anyhoo, right now i don't know who to believe. I don’t know what to do. I don't know what i did to deserve this. I don't know if i hurt someone to make them do this. I don't know if anyone did anything. I don't know if i am going to pass my pastoral epistles midterm. i don't know if this issue is ever going to be completely resolved (but i want it to more than anything.). I want things to go back to the way it was, but i want this to make me and my friendships grow. I want my friendships to be strengthened. I want to grow closer to God. But what you want and what you get are two different things. I am so confused…but God knows and some day He will explain it all.

What am i supposed to believe???

So right now i am sitting in the Great Hall (that's the really important name they gave the giant unfinished portion of our school building), and i don't know what i am supposed to believe. Some people i really trust told me today that someone else i really trust is (to put it bluntly)a two-faced, people pleasing liar. You know, the type of person that says one thing to your face, but says something totally contrasting to someone else. That encourages you and makes you feel like a friend to your face and makes fun of you to others. The conflict here is I really don't want to believe it. As i said (see above) I really trust this friend...and i am giving them the benefit of the doubt, which will probably be to my detriment, but why would i want to be hurt, if agreeing that they are a two-faced, people-pleasing, lying jerk would still be painful, but less so? You know the old saying, "burn me once its your fault, burn me twice it's mine"? Well, right now i don't know what to do. On one hand i want to sit here and cry and go back to my dorm, turn off my phone, and sleep till next semester, and on the other hand i want to call my friend, and tear them apart, and make them feel 10% of how i feel right now. I could care less about any extenuating circumstances. The fact that i was told that one of my friends is a betraying weasel (not their words) hurts. It hurts because i don't want it to be true. It hurts because it has happened so many times before with so many so called "friends." It hurts because it makes me feel like i deserve that. I know my personality is somewhat flawed in many ways, but do i deserve that?? Why did they even have to lead me on as my friend...why couldn't they have told me off in the first place and spared me all this heartache? To me they don’t seem like that type of friend. O well, i am probably making a big deal about nothing...probably some misunderstanding. By the way, if you're thinking this is about you, you're probably right...and tell me the truth...its the only thing that matters right now.

Walking with purpose

So it's been a pretty long week...fun but long. Last Saturday, Amber, heather and i went downtown. It is nice living about fifteen minutes from downtown Knoxville. There is one thing that slightly confounded us. Why is it that in the middle of a city everything closes at 5? We tried to go to the art museum (which is free, but has some pretty cool stuff...or so i've heard, everytime i try to go, it's closed.) Of course the world finds plenty of things to do...Why is it that the things that are clean fun are always closed when we have an opportunity to participate?

We walked about a mile and a half before we decided where we were going to eat, and by the time we got that far, we didn't feel like going anywhere else, so we just stopped at the first place that looked clean and safe. So i ate at Quizno's for the first time, and what did i eat??? A salad of course!!! It was really good.

I have been able to go walking almost every night for the past two weeks (YEA for me!!! ok so i know i am pretty much the only one excited about this) I have even persuaded (tricked; manipulated) some of my friends to go with me. Heather is my faithful walking partner. (Keep "walking with purpose" heather!!!) I am slowly healthifying (i know its not a word) the Crown college campus one person at a time...Lauren and amber see through my little conspiracy, but they humor me, and sometimes they accompany me on my nightly excursions (but pity works just as well as trickery sometimes). Ok, well we are off to do something..we don't know what, but lets just hope its legal (according to Crown)...who knows maybe it'll be able to blog about it sometime. Leave a comment or CALL ME (if you don't have my number, it's cause this comment is not for you and i have no desire to talk to you...jk...unless you are considered creepy by many)!!!