Whats going on?

I realized that lately i've been giving you spiritual muses without any of the usual humorous drivel of my life. So here it goes....

After seven years of studying...ok not so much studying...work...ok not soo much work, money...o yes lots and lots of money, i have FINALLY finished my course of study to become a licensed educator. That word, licensed, is possibly the most important work in the previous sentence. Had i omitted it, I could have been done with school three years ago. Last week, I took a trip home to PA. Upon returning to my house in WI, there, on the counter, there was a large envelope. I knew immediately that what i was staring at was my license. I almost did the happy dance right there in my kitchen. I've subbed a few times. Once in a elementary art class which was just humorous in and of itself. Imagine me trying to help 25 second graders make animals out of chunks of clay...in 45 min. That one didn't go over so well...

My junior church has been amazing! God has really been helping me connect to kids, and I love it! I got to teach a few weeks ago, and we learned about how all things work together for good. It was what i was learning at the time, and as such it was super fun to teach. We made a cake and learned how all the bad tasting ingredients work together to make a yummy cake. The kids loved it and are stilllll talking about it weeks later. There is one little girl in the class that I'm really praying for. And i finally made a little chink in her shell yesterday. She's in second grade. Her home life is just vile. She has a dirtier mind than most teens. She likes to roll her eyes at you when you're talking to her about using good language in junior church. Yesterday, she was sitting next to a little girl, and she was being a HUGE help getting the three year old to do what she needed to do. After junior church I pulled her aside and thanked her for all her hard work. Sunday night i got the biggest hug upon coming in, and then she was waiting for me in my pew after we finished shaking hands. She tried so hard to get to the right page in the hymn book, and we even found that morning's memory verse in the Bible. It's amazing what a little encouragement can do :)

O and my little "brother" Mackie got married this year...crazy? yes...here's the "family" with our newest member :)

Just a thought...

My Jesus. I love Him more than words could possibly express. He loves me...more than i can even possibly imagine. But i fail...more times than i can count. Growing up in a cookie cutter community, I thought failure was something to hide. I didn't know that everyone was. I didn't know that other people got angry at God. I didn't know that other people struggled with the little things every day. The Bible tells me that a just man falls seven times and rises yet again. Did you see that? No, no, not the "rises again" part. The "he falls SEVEN times part." The "rises again" part means nothing without the "falls seven times part." (Also notice he falls, he doesn't throw himself down, he doesn't step off a cliff. The ground is not his target...this verse does NOT mean, "its ok if i sin this time because i can just get back up.")

Here's a confession, I yell at God. I stomp my feet. I whine. I just don't understand what happens every day. I fall. And thats ok. As long as i get back up. But here's the thing. Here's the thought of this post. How do we get back up? If you would have asked me, a few years ago, I would had shrugged at you and said, "Get up? Well, um, to do that you kind of have to fall...and well, um, we don't really do that." But now the answer is we have people come up beside us and pick us up. At first, i had a very hard time with this. People came. They tried to help. I pushed them away. How dare they think i was falling...when i was, but over time i grew weak. I couldn't keep pulling myself up by my own boot straps AND keep pushing them away. When the cookies stop looking so perfect, life gets a whole lot easier. I've seen it. I've lived it. I'm watching it happen in others. So my challenge...throw away the cookie cutters. Let them know you fall. Pick them up when they do. But never stop getting up.

My First Book Review :)

I recently received and read Curiosities of the Civil War by Webb Garrison. The first thing to draw me to the book was the extremely attractive cover. Even those who don't enjoy reading about history have to admit that this book was designed very well. As I’m someone who has dabbled somewhat in design, it’s one of the first things I now notice about books or any other media. Throughout this book, the author has woven an intriguing journey through the civil war's little known anecdotes, facts from Lincoln’s presidency to confederate men slaying their own colonel. It jumped around a bit for my brain, but then again, I'm not a civil war enthusiast. However, my friends who are history and social studies majors can't wait to get their hands on this book for present enjoyment and future usefulness. Having recently graduated with an education degree, I also see the value of this book from an educator’s standpoint. This book would be a great tool for any history teacher about to embark on a journey through a civil war unit. It brings the history to life with its fun vignettes about the little known facts of the war. This book is definitely the perfect gift for the historian on your gift list.

Not on a Roller Coaster

I'm so thankful for the things I have learned in the past year. So thankful for my God holding me whenever I need Him to. Sometimes start to toddle away again and He holds my hand before I fall down. I feel like I might be starting to learn that following Him, even when I can't see, is a better idea than trying to pull Him to where I want to go. I'm learning to ascribe to Him the things He says about Himself. I'm learning He knows whats best, even when the present time hurts more than words can say. Things have happened this year, just like any other year, that affect me emotionally, but my God has shown me that although circumstances can affect my happiness, my JOY rests in Him. I love Him so much. Right now, I have 2 weeks left of college...2 WEEKS! I got my first job offer yesterday, and I'm praying about it, but I honestly have NO idea what He has for me yet. All I know is there isn't a roller coaster I'm riding right now :)

Hello world!

I feel like I'm finally coming back into the world and getting out of whatever bog it is that i have been in for the past 9 or 10 months. Finally the haze is clearing, and I can see again. And I'm loving life! I'm student teaching and LOVING it!!! Children are just the thing that can pick you up if you are EVER down. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life teaching! God is so good to allow me to do the exact thing I've wanted to do my entire life.

I love where I'm at right now. Just doing what I know I'm supposed to be doing. Friends. I am blessed beyond measure. I was able to get online and check out my stuff for graduation. Can I just express how incredible that feels after a LOOOOONG time in college? Yes, it's pretty amazing. I am so ready to get on and start my life. As much as I love it here, I know this isn't the place I fit. Someday, I'll get there and find the exact place God has for me, and I can't wait! Until then, I'm excited to hold the hand of the One I belong to as I'm looking for the place I belong.

The Separation of My Generation

Disclaimer: This post will most likely offend someone on both sides. I'm not too concerned with that. Nor am i going to say, "This is a tough post to write," because to be honest, i enjoy writing. I wouldn't do it if I didn't enjoy it. So, if you're offended, i apologize in advance, but thats why this is my blog :) and like it says, no one said you have to read it.

Today, we talk a lot about separation. Actually, we are talked TO a lot about separation. I've heard that the problem with our generation is our failure to separate. We don't know how to separate. I'm not so sure that's the case. I'm fairly confident we're pretty good at separating. It's a matter of who we are separating from. Our focus is no longer separating from the world. That's not to say we don't; it's just not the big thing to us. Which is a problem in and of itself. We're separating from a whole other group entirely. We're separating from the Fundamentalists. The name is kind of a shame to be honest because most of us aren't separating from the fundamentals. I really wish the name was more like the "Standard"ists or the "Bibles-so-big-that-carrying-them-gives-you-something-like-tennis-elbow"ists or, my person favorite, Tradtionalists. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with standards, big bibles or tradition. I have all of the above. I'm just saying that Fundamentalist is a poor name for the group thats being separated from.

Why are we separating? You really want to know? Because as a whole, Fundamentalists are weird. There's coulottes and combovers, people who talk in thees and thous, and those people who stand on street corners yelling at the people walking by that they're going to burn in hell. I know, I know this is where you throw the verse at me that says we're to be a peculiar people. And then i tell you that i looked up "peculiar" in the 1828 Webster's dictionary, and tell you that peculiar doesn't necessarily mean "weird." It means "One's own; belonging solely or especially to the individual." (Which really makes the whole verse just jump out at me more.) So many of the standards that are held to so tightly by Traditionalists were created in an era when they were culturally unacceptable. They were created to separate from the world. I'm not saying our convictions should change, but that doesn't mean our standards can't. Before I'm misunderstood, here's an example, I used to go to a conservative Christian college where girls weren't allowed to wear pants. I then transferred to another conservative school where girls are allowed to wear pants. Does that mean I took a spiritual step down because my new school lets girls wear something that 60 years ago were culturally unacceptable? Not at all. So to be truthful some of you are holding to traditions (that make no sense) so tightly that you are forgetting that the God of love, mercy, and forgiveness who commanded our separation. No one wants a God of law who doesn't show love.

Now to those of you who are chuckling and just nodding your head. It's our turn. What has our desire become? Is your desire really to show the world the love of your holy God? Or is it to not be weird? Or maybe, your separation really is so you can do whatever you want? "But God is LOVE, so what we do isn't important, and doesn't the Bible say we're all sinners anyway? Why fight it?" I don't think most Christians of my generation start out thinking "the world and sin looks like SO MUCH FUN, so im going to take the throw everything out the window. I know God loves me, but I really don't care about that." I'm not saying there aren't people like that. I've known my share, but I've also known my share of strong Christians who have fallen. I've even seen the slow slip in my own life. I started searching for "what i really believe." Which is also a pretty terrible name because we should be searching for "what is the truth" (For example on this, a child is learning his colors...his father, to be funny, teaches him that the red crayon is called blue...The child believes it, but that belief doesn't change the color of the crayon.) Anyway, i started this search, and there were a few things i didn't agree with. Then, I started to separate from the "Traditionalist camp." That's when i noticed it. I noticed the convictions i had that were slipping. Little things that were ok now, that weren't ok before. Verses i was overlooking in the Bible just because i was pretty sure the interpretation wasn't quite what they were saying it was (w/o studying at all)...I started focusing more on myself than God. How God could serve me. I started focusing on the love, mercy, forgiveness, grace because those are what God gives me. I focused less on the holiness, justice, judgement because those are what I had to do. Worship and praise even slipped...Not that i wasn't "worshipping." But the focus of my "worship" time wasn't God. It was how i felt. It wasn't the love I had from and for God spilling out. It wasn't my awe of Him. Is your separation really for God? Is it from the darkness that we're supposed to have no fellowship with? Or is it just from people that we don't really "like?" Are you solely and entirely God's? God's love without His holiness would just be cheap.

The Lesson I learned from Justin Bieber

Ok, so i have NEVER heard a Justin Bieber song in my life, but i have seen children's reactions to him. I worked in a classroom where a girl wrote I HEART Justin Bieber on the top of EVERY paper. Rachel showed us a video (copy &paste to your browser http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTCm8tdHkfI) over spring break of how much a little 3 year old loved this guy...errr...kid. I still didn't really think it was all that widespread of an epidemic until my amazingly awesome and incredible friends kidnapped me and took me to Chuck E Cheese for my birthday. We were sitting there eating our pizza and getting ready to go dominate in skee ball, so we could win lots of tickets, when Justin Bieber appeared on the television screens. There had been a girl about 6 or 7 years old who had been acting a little crazy near the stage, but this is when she got loud. She started screaming at the top of her lungs "JUSTIN BIEBER!! IT'S JUSTIN BIEBER!!!!!!" This went on for about...well the entire time he was visible on the screen (so even with a song playing over the speakers, I've still never heard one of his songs).

So what is it about these kids that makes them go nuts? It's worship. It's praise. They are worshipping and praising this new adolescent pop star. Right now im reading Desiring God by John Piper. AMAZING book so far (im a chapter in), but the first chapter is on how God's sovereignty allows us to have peace, happiness, and joy in Him. We aren't going to come to our Father and find Him in a mood that makes us want to escape His gloom or avoid Him. If we're avoiding God it's not because He is unstable, but because we are sinners. (sry that all has NOTHING to do with this post). The second thing He talks about it how by adoring, desiring, and loving our God, we best glorify Him, and that is shown through our praise. We are constantly praising something. Whether it's the Lakers for their big win tonight, our abilities in academics or sports, or our boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, or kids. We aren't constantly praising. You may say you don't, but think about what you say. "The Lakers are awesome!" "I have the most AMAZING (husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, plumber, exterminator) on the planet!" There is another thing that Piper points out...when we're praising, we want people to agree with us. We want to share the beauty of our adoration. How often do we say "Look at this!" "Did you see how incredible that was?!"

So why aren't we like that with God? Because its not on the inside. All that praise for those other things. It just spills out. It's not a conscious effort. It's not our duty. I'm not trying to cheapen God by comparing Him to Justin Bieber, but why are we exalting all these things in our own lives to His place? Pastor said last night that praise looks good on Christians. The Bible says in Psalm 33:1 (ESV) "Shout for joy in the Lord, O you righteous! Praise befits the upright." So two questions, "Are you putting on praise today?" and "If you put on praise, does it match the rest of your wardrobe (or would someone look at you like a 40 year old man praising Justin Bieber? cuz thats just unnatural)?"