Saturday, August 19, 2006

Its ok if He says no

OK, so I am warning you now…this is one of my serious…God showed me something that I need to verbalize blogs. Today I was praying about some stuff I am going through. I prayed, “God please make everything work out exactly how you want…and if its not how I want it to work out, that’s ok…” I prayed a blanket prayer so that how ever this all works out, I can say…look God answered my prayer exactly how I prayed it!! Then I was like what in the world am I doing. I never told God what I really wanted. Why am I so afraid to pray for what I really want? Why am I so afraid of God saying “no”? My parents used to say no to me all the time, and despite what you all may think…I’m pretty well adjusted. God wants us to pray for what we want. God tells us, “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” Why not ask for what we want…God promises that if we delight ourselves in Him; He will give us the things we desire. If I desire something that is against God’s will, but I am delighting in Him, I believe He will remove that desire from my heart, so I am done praying blanket prayers that protect me from having God say “no”. I still want to pray for God’s will, and I still want Him to do His will in my life, but I don’t want to be constantly praying for nothing. My pastor has always said, “Nothing’s dynamic unless it’s specific.” I think this is the first time that actually clicked in my head.

God is supposed to be my best friend…I guess I’ve been missing that. Well, what I am going through right now, I really need to cling to that, and I tell everyone else what I want…I tell them how I want everything to turn out, but I don’t tell God. The one thing about God that I seem to have the most trouble grasping is that no matter what I say to Him or what I ask Him…He is always going to love me and be there for me. It amazes me that even when I don’t talk to Him and I ignore Him, He loves me. I wish I could be just as good of a friend.

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