Saturday, June 10, 2006


Ok, so the last blog was a little extreme...i know...sorry about that. I have a great life...with great friends (this summer i've really learned who the great ones are and which ones are fair weather friends). I know i don't have to think negatively of myself cause i have a Father in heaven who cared enough about me to send his Son to die...for me. Not only that, He blessed me with a great church, great school, and great friends. I know that if someone turned their back on me as many times as i have turned my back on God, i would never be that generous or gracious. I just can't believe how self-centered i am sometimes. I just think about me and what is wrong in my life, when other people don't even know that they have a God that cares. I think about how i don't have enough self-confidence, but the real problem is i confide in myself too much. I need to learn to have confidence in God. Ps 118:8 says, "It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man." I guess for me it should read, "It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in self." I try to confide in myself, and i fall flat on my face, and i know i'll fall flat every time, but when i trust God, i will be able to do more than i could ever imagine. I hope this has helped someone really touched me, and i hope it touched you. Now i just have to pray that God will help me rely on Him.

I wrote a little poem tonight (just something i do when i am trying to think). I know it may not be the most artistically crafted, but I wanted to share it with all of you:

The confidence I have at this time
In myself I should not find
As upward on my way I climb
I start to fall behind.
You see, I am not looking up ahead
For my Father to lead the way,
I rely upon myself instead
And from the path begin to stray.
Suddenly, the skies grow dark,
And the path is far to steep
The landscape is increasingly stark
And the winds begin to sweep.
As everything inside me tries
To keep my head up high
My battered heart within me dies
And my hopes begin to fly.

Why can’t I have the easy trip
That I see the others take,
But I just bite my lower lip
As my feet begin to ache.
Come to me I hear the Spirit say
But I will not follow His voice
I want to take my own way
To make it my own choice.
But once I turn and follow Him
And leave my way behind,
The sky is no longer dim,
And the path is far more kind.
He knows the path made just for me
For He created all
And He has made this guarantee
That with Him I’ll never fall.

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